Imagine, for a moment, bliss. Sometimes this is a hard image to conjure, and some can achieve this picture quickly; sandy beaches whetted with angelic liberation, libations of joy filling one’s soul with ease and comfort. Now… imagine a salad. 

These two things, if you order from Mixt, are one in the same, and this is no exaggeration. 

It was simple, I wanted a salad, so I ordered one online. Tapped a couple of buttons, ordered a salad with tomatoes, croutons, carrots, bell peppers, lettuce, and cucumbers, then waited away aimlessly for the food to arrive. 

The moment it finally arrived, and I took a bite, my monotonous life was filled with color, my ambling filled with jubilant animation, the storm clouds beyond alleviated by a sunny sky. Each bite was a taste of the firmament, each piece of lettuce handled with the care of angels, all combined and crafted with divinity; all in existence with the brief excitement of only the rarest of mankind’s creations. 

I mean this with the most earnest honesty, as I am a man of my word, and my word is thus: this is the greatest salad I’ve ever tasted.

Mixt, the makers of such a meal, have been escorted from the angels down to the world of living just to grace us with their flavor. 

When I eat a salad, I eat it because I feel bad about myself, but this time I ate because I wanted to, I ate because nothing else seemed to make sense in the world. 

Before eating this salad, life made sense and all was fine. 

The traditional Indo-Arabic numeric system does not have the correct glyph to rank it out of 10, so I shall create my own. As a result, I give it a “Þ” out of 10, and hereby end this food review.