The newly opened IKEA in downtown San Francisco on Market Street has made quite the popular impression. From all over the city, people make a pilgrimage to gawk at the novelty of the store, purchase furniture, or simply to buy food from the store’s world famous cafeteria.
As one may expect, the store is a temple of crisp white, bustling with varieties of home goods and immaculate replica apartments. The same extends to the cafeteria: glistening white, with screen kiosks to select one’s order, served up within a quick few minutes at the counter with prompt, quality service.
Nearly as fast as we had ordered it, our food was ready: a plate of meatballs, garlic bread, and a small bowl of “plant balls” (an imitation of meatballs using a meat substitute).
The plantballs were, visually, a very convincing imitation, nearly indiscernible from meatballs without close inspection. This positive resemblance, however, extended only so far as the eye could perceive. Upon taking a bite one is greeted with a texture of mildly unpleasant mush, and without the cohesiveness of meat.
Beyond this is the taste–not in itself unpleasant–being for the most part that of gravy, it lacks any intrinsic flavor.
This fact, once one is conscious of it, becomes the overwhelming thought in one’s mind: one is nearly overwhelmed by the thought of simply eating meatballs in their uninitiated form, as opposed to enjoying flavor not dissimilar to eating a Vattentråg or Oftast coated in gravy.
The resemblance in taste of the plantballs to home goods aside, our meal was quite enjoyable. The mashed potatoes and lingonberry sauce made for a pleasant addition, and garlic toast was easily worth the investment of eighty cents.
A trip to downtown’s new Ikea is highly recommendable, even if for food alone, though we do highly recommend avoiding the choice of “plant balls” to the best of one’s ability.
