Riordan has a big problem: Its elevators have a distinct lack of music! The elevators here are so much more than just an alternative method of transportation for students, they act as the chariots in which injured students “ride to battle” against their injuries. 

    The elevators metaphorically teach them to “rise” above their injuries and are truly essential support structures in which many Riordan students rely upon on a day-to-day basis. If we truly want to cater to this second function of figurative upliftment, which we should because the happiness of our students is our number one priority after all, the obvious choice is to put some kind of music in to pump up the spirits. 

    For months, I had to suffer through the torture of complete silence in the elevators. This silence was deafening in a way, completely erasing my motivation to continue the ceaseless and valiant fight against my knee injury. I had to wait in silence for two whole minutes, practically eternity! I call upon this great school to look at my story with great pity and to install music in the elevators so that no other student will have to suffer in silence daily for two agonizing and excruciating minutes like I did. 

    Traditionally, music was played in elevators to eliminate fears about the new invention. However, there has been a recent trend in removing music from elevators, eliminating the charm and comfort that music brought. There’s even a music genre named after it, “elevator music.”

     Students have come up with suggestions for such music: any cover of a song by Mr. Zumbado, “Gonna Fly Now” (theme from the Rocky movies) by Bill Conti, and “Push it to the Limit” (from Scarface) by Paul Engemann. 

     Riordan is a school known for its many great traditions such as the Victory Bell and the Frosh Olympics.  As a champion of tradition, I am calling upon this school to put music in its elevators. Do this not to calm fears of a new invention, but rather to inspire the injured in their ceaseless fight to recover. In the words of the Matrix, the time to make a choice has come, Riordan. The choice is yours, make the right one.